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Will It Suck? Alien Rimjob Edition…

December 17, 2012

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So alien flicks fall into two distinct camps: the ones where they’re here to help  us (Cocoon, ET, the first 5 minutes of Prometheus) and those where they’re here to mess up our shit (War Of The Worlds, Independence Day, the rest of Prometheus). Of course, the second batch is infinitely more fun. Invaders from […]

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Will It Suck? The Impossibly Insensitive Issue…

December 10, 2012

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[There was no Sunday Roast yesterday owing to my just not being able to serve it up. Sunday Roasts will resume next Sunday.] Disaster movies have always been big business for Hollywood, regardless of whether they’re natural or man-made. The earliest one I can remember was The Poseidon Adventure, which featured a stellar cast: Gene […]

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Will It Suck? It’s A Kind Of Magic Edition…

November 27, 2012

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There are great heist movies like Rififi, Heat and, of course, Heist.  And all great heist movies have a few things in common: great casting, great direction and great production. All great heist movies have something else in common: the twist. It’s that little tendril of the tale that pulls you suddenly and unexpectedly into […]

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Will It Suck? Zombie Apocalypse Edition…

November 19, 2012

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Ok. So Zombies are the new Vampires…or at least they’re trying to be…and with the end of the world approaching (according to the Mayans, anyway..or not), I’m kinda shocked we don’t have more apocalypse movies happening. I mean have we all forgotten about the zombie attack in Florida? This shit is real! Bath salts. Yeah, […]

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Will It Suck? The Fist & The Furious Edition…

October 30, 2012

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Konichiwa, bitches. So here’s today’s quiz: what is it about kung-fu flicks that are so awesome? I remember the first time I watched Bruce Lee whip some ass in Enter The Dragon. I was hooked like yo’ mama on KFC. Then I had to check out Jim Kelly in Black Belt Jones. And I was […]

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